Every Sperm Is Sacred
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DAD:
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There are Jews in the world.
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There are Buddhists.
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There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
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There are those that follow Mohammed, but
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I've never been one of them.
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I'm a Roman Catholic,
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And have been since before I was born,
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And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
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They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
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You don't have to be a six-footer.
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You don't have to have a great brain.
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You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
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A Catholic the moment Dad came,
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Because
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Every sperm is sacred.
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Every sperm is great.
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If a sperm is wasted,
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God gets quite irate.
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CHILDREN:
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Every sperm is sacred.
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Every sperm is great.
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If a sperm is wasted,
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God gets quite irate.
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GIRL:
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Let the heathen spill theirs
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On the dusty ground.
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God shall make them pay for
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Each sperm that can't be found.
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CHILDREN:
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Every sperm is wanted.
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Every sperm is good.
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Every sperm is needed
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In your neighbourhood.
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MUM:
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Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
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Spill theirs just anywhere,
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But God loves those who treat their
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Semen with more care.
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MEN:
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Every sperm is sacred.
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Every sperm is great.
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WOMEN:
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If a sperm is wasted,...
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CHILDREN:
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...God get quite irate.
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PRIEST:
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Every sperm is sacred.
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BRIDE and GROOM:
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Every sperm is good.
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NANNIES:
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Every sperm is needed...
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CARDINALS:
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...In your neighbourhood!
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CHILDREN:
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Every sperm is useful.
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Every sperm is fine.
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FUNERAL CORTEGE:
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God needs everybody's.
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MOURNER #1:
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Mine!
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MOURNER #2:
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And mine!
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CORPSE:
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And mine!
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NUN:
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Let the Pagan spill theirs
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O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
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HOLY STATUES:
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God shall strike them down for
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Each sperm that's spilt in vain.
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EVERYONE:
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Every sperm is sacred.
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Every sperm is good.
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Every sperm is needed
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In your neighbourhood.
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Every sperm is sacred.
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Every sperm is great.
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If a sperm is wasted,
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God gets quite iraaaaaate!